I am proud that I loved you more than my imagination and capacity, was rally too much than I can explain ,now I knew it coz I compare with you, but your sickness and bad desire didn’t care my feelings, if I look at you by my normal way of love with realizing my reality, you are really not the person to be loved by me, and hanging with, all and every1 knows but love is blind so u became succeed to make me blind too, my heart feel you the way you share your life, and every situation you have, the way you act like care of me, understand me, loved me, make me fall in love with you, it was my pleasure to be with you for your sake not u to suffer any craziness, with all possible I can do you to give heavenly pleasure of my love and protection from any difficulties was only my intension .its not that im jealous of your living, or hurt by your decision to break all promises and plan we have created ,coz I know I born alone and will die alone, so I don’t have any expectation even with my life,in this condition what may I have desire with you,if I had anything to expect just some chances to bring smile on ur face from your heart, but now just im worrying of the person I love most, more thinking about how ur future will be for you,
I was still holding your hands with full of care, love and safety with being in love with you every moment, but suddenly u changed, what da damn happen on your mind you throw my lovely hand away, ignored everything of me and true love I was giving to you, the way you betrayed me is neither I can share with any1 nor I can keep my feelings shut off, those all feelings increasing every moment like preparing to blast as volcano and do maximum harm to my life.
Just imagine and remember ,,,since beginning if any sadness I have given to you, and which smile I couldn’t provide you, I fought with so many obstacle for you, I have taken so many decision even those are against of me and my family just to give smile to you,I know u cant think of them now,coz u r still in hell, holding by devil, you may stay happy there for now, and you may have some reason of smile there now, but ever you dare to ask you heart what it says? Is that really u looking for? are you really wanted that? My selfless heart still watching on you to save you from more loss of you, another way of care..
My heart knows someday [not so far] you will loss the reason of you current happiness providing for,as a rule of nature, what will happen to you at the time you look back and found really nothing,u can imagine it from ur present too, as I know u r climbing the height which is not your destination and more the way you are choosing is also not so safe and no subway to return. you might reach at the top but there wont be any point after that to look for, you cant be back too, that’ condition of you also 1 of the reason of my sadness now, the way you are ignoring your reality, feelings and care, love I do for you won’t be with you anymore, so that emptiness will kill you, and will let you to regret for rest life, you will just have a life of regret and un forgiveness you can’t be sorry for your life even,,
That’s your future I have drawn as I know you ,your life ,and the reality you have with you ,try to discuss with feelings of you r heart and thinking of mind, if you are agree with what I said, just try to gate back from the hell you are suffering from, time is still waiting for you with the last hope.
Loving you was not game I played ,I loved you for pleasure, loving you now with lots hurt and pain, and will loving you till the last for ever and ever………..<3 <3 <3
Its real that I love you really really for nothing,,,,
Translated written feelings of Nepali paragraph from my diary titled “LOVE LETTER” for my 1st love,
Just trying to share you here for improve my broken English ,lol’
Thank you for the time you spend to read this,,, JJJJJ
